drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Randomize