East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
