last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
