We're like a lot better than the average bears
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
