Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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