I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
