So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
