just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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