Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Someone came in the potted fern
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
A bitchslap is in order.
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