Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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