Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
