She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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