btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
