did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
