Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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