I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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