Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize