NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
