what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
