Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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