There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Can I color on your dick again?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Randomize
