you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Randomize
