if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
