Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
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