what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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