just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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