Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
