im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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