He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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