Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize