Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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