I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
