:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
