You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
