K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Randomize
