ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
