I'll bet she douches with gravy.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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