She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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