His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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