my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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