How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
