Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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