Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
