hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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