found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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