Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
