it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
Randomize
