But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
