Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
