Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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