I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
