No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
