She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
