Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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