I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
