ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
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