Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I can tuck mytits in my pants
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize