she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
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