i already hear my dad disowning me
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
