i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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