I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
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