Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Randomize
