so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize