I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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