where am i from again
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
