Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
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