And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Randomize
