where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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